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Why Men Should Shut the Hell Up About PMS

I’m convinced — the vast majority of men wouldn’t recognize a woman with PMS if she bit him on the ass. Heck, they don’t even realize their own little condition:

DAS — Daily Asshole Syndrome

 

Ooooh yeah. You know it’s true. Sure, some women go through monthly mood swings. Let’s call it our little monthly vacation from having to bottle up how we really feel all the time. And given that we put up with men and their DAS every single day, I say we deserve the friggin’ break!

Credit: BigStockPhoto.com
Credit: BigStockPhoto.com

What is DAS? Think of it as PMS on a daily cycle. Men are up. Then they’re down. Then they’re horny. Then they’re hungry. Then they’re happy. Then they’re pissy. Then as soon as we ask them to do something for us they’re too tired and want to be left alone. They can go through the entire cycle in a single hour and start all over again.

Oh man, do they have some crazy mood swings or what? And there are relatively universal swings too. Here’s one of my favorites (which I’ve seen in one of my brothers, and at least two different exes):

The guy’s pissed off. The reason doesn’t matter, because there usually isn’t a very good one. The fact that the clock just struck 3:00pm would be as valid a reason as any. He’s a complete grouch. He takes it out on the nearest woman, either losing his temper and shouting, insulting her, bitching constantly about something, or just flat out ignoring her at the most inappropriate time.

He gets called out for his prissy little fit. He immediately realizes that the person calling him out (which can’t be the woman he’s being an ass towards) is right. A grin overcomes the smug look on his face. You know the one — the guilty little “yeah, I know I’m a jerk but you have to love me anyway so just forgive me and I promise it won’t ever happen again” grin. But of course, it happens again. And again. And again.

Yes folks, that’s one of my favorite little examples of DAS. I’m sure you can think of more.

PMS Isn’t a Problem, It’s a Privilege

 

Credit: BigStockPhoto.com
Credit: BigStockPhoto.com

Not all women get bitchy when they have PMS. Some are just hypersensitive emotionally (*raises hand*). Others are simply miserable because they’re in pain — hey men, how often do you feel like internal organs are trying to escape your body? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Until you’ve felt what your woman is feeling, shut the hell up about her having PMS. She might be one of those unlucky ones with extreme cramps, and if they’re not hitting her yet she knows they’re coming. You’ve been warned. I take no responsibility if she decides to relieve you of your manhood for opening your mouth at the wrong time.

When women go through these emotional and / or physical changes, we don’t have the luxury of knowing we can change how we feel on a whim like you lucky little bastards can. So if we’re a bit out of sorts for a few days, deal with it! We’ve earned it solely for putting up with you all month!

And on that note, I think it’s time for a Midol and a nap.

Jennifer Mattern

Jennifer Mattern is a professional blogger, freelance writer, and former social media and PR consultant. She covers small business, online business, marketing, PR, social media, blogging, freelance writing, and indie publishing for a variety of online publications. She also handles copywriting and PR writing for small and online businesses. Find her on Twitter @jenn_mattern.

77 thoughts on “Why Men Should Shut the Hell Up About PMS

  1. Actually PMS really does suck. Not all men are assholes and PMS can strain relationships with those men as well.

    I found this when I was desperate and reading internet forums on PMS:

    09-12-2005, 05:03 AM
    Sunshine and Ladies,

    Share this with the men in your lives: I (R) have been married to my wife (B) for over 25 years. B was always extremely emotional around the time of her menstrual cycle, and over the years, the anger component of those emotions grew and grew until about one year ago, I sadly resigned myself to the fact that I could no longer live with the love of my life.

    For the first many years, I reacted to her anger with my own anger, which only made things worse. Once we realized that she had a medical problem, PMS , it mitigated things some for me, but I still continued to suffer from each episode which grew worse with each passing year, even though we sought help from every source possible, including medical, homeopathic, healing services, etc. Each seemed to help a little, yet the problem worsened. So now after 25 years, I was finally determined to run while I still retained some of my own sanity.

    Even though I have always been attractive to women and have continued to receive invitations from many, I have always been so in love with my Bride , B, that it was easy to ignore those flirtations. Now here I was, facing the end of my marriage, receiving even more invitations and yet I could not imagine continuing life without B . I prayed even more earnestly for help.

    During the next outbreak of her unimaginable anger, I was suddenly filled with peace as the answer suddenly became so very clear: My wife has an illness, possibly inherited, but nonetheless an illness for which she is not responsible; I love her more than life itself. Ignoring the blows and the threats, I put my arms around her and held her tightly, while softly speaking to her. I told her that I knew that she was not responsible for the illness that was causing her to be so mean and angry. I told her that I loved her so much, that there was not anything that she could ever say or do that would make me stop loving her or leave her. I told her that I was going to hold her until she felt better. I held her and gently kissed her face until she relaxed in my arms.

    I continued to do this during each subsequent anger outbreak. Each episode continued to get shorter and shorter. Now, six months later, she rarely has an anger problem, and if one erupts, I respond the same and it immediately melts away.

    Yes, the anger was diagnosed as a PMS related medical condition. Yes she received drugs, hormones, herbs and other kinds of therapy/help. But in the end, what worked the best was pure, unadulterated LOVE.

    This is a true story. Please feel free to share it with your loved ones in the event that it could be of help to you. I have been given the gift of having my bride returned to me. Maybe the men in your lives could be as blessed as I.

    1. Not all women suffer from PMS either. While this post want meant to be a humorous look at the issue from an extreme perspective, the example you gave also sounds pretty extreme but in a more serious (and saddening) way. Love definitely does help when emotions run high, so thanks for sharing the story.

  2. The fact you admit to writing this WHILE going through PMS is just pure epic win. Let me point out why because I’m sure your brain is much to simple to understand anything outside of a stereotype.

    You are, in a very ranting and raving, emotional, and, well, bitchy way, complaining, and berating, men, for pointing out, that while PMSing, women are emotional and bitchy.

  3. …so you’re trying to overcome a male bias by being an extremely biased feminist? when does a woman ever “earn the right” to be a bi*ch? and if a man is an as*hole every day, why the fu*k are you even with him?

  4. Folks, try this:

    Read, then comprehend.

    I did not say I wrote this while going through PMS. I’m also anything but a feminist. In fact, if you review the comments you’ll find that your opinion of me is based on false perceptions because you missed the satire. But here’s the comment again, just to clear up those misconceptions:

    “this post want meant to be a humorous look at the issue from an extreme perspective”

    Then again, knowing some readers wouldn’t get it, and would fly off the handle on their own emotional rants (hmmmm) is precisely why I wrote this. I love irony.

  5. So if the women is in pain or knows she will be in pain then that gives her not so much a right, but a wider privilege to be moody and short tempered?

    So following this logic I…a man…who will play a contact sport on the weekend will have the same wider privileges to be an asshole just because i know i will be in pain?
    What about people who suffer chronic back pain? or people with debilitating injuries?

    O and saying that in general men have cycles of emotions and wild mood swings just like or worse than women is actually pretty humorous. It is not a socially accepted norm that men have these cycles. TV sub-cultures do not endorse this view or men, however they do of women (sex and the city).

  6. Um, when their physical pain is constant for days and accompanied by hormonal fluctuations that affect the emotional as well as physical state, sure, those athletes can be as much of an asshole as they’d like. Then again, who’s to say they’re not already (since you want to play devil’s advocate and all)?

    No one said women have a “right” to be bitchy. In fact, this entire article was taking a lighter look at that situation, the fact that you can’t read beyond the literal aside.

    And newsflash, anecdotal evidence is far from worthless (not that this article was in any way, shape, or form intended as some kind of medical diagnosis), and it’s rather laughable that you’d say TV sub-culture endorsements have any value at all when you’re claiming a lack of facts. But that’s ok. Unlike some folks here I do have a sense of humor, so I’ll take that as the joke it must have been.

  7. This is what you get when a magazine/newspaper writer meets an asshole who breaks her heart. She see’s it as her responsibilty to share her views and opinion with the world which is fine, but the fact that you make all men appear to be jerks who treat women with no respect and bask in their egotistical glow drives me crazy. You are a talented writer and I enjoyed reading this piece, but the attitude you took infuriates me because everyday nice guys like me try to show women the most utmost respect, not because we have to but because we want to. And then you come along and encourage every girl to raise their barriers to shield themselves. Please don’t take such a general look at life, it makes em sick.

    Joe

  8. Joe,

    I’m sorry you feel that way, but it sounds like you missed the point of the article. I’ll say this for the last time — this was not a serious piece, it was satire.

    It does not reflect any real outlook. It’s an intentional exaggeration, demonstrating an extreme example of a PMS lash-out. Personally, I don’t get pissy when I have PMS, and I’m probably one of the most understanding women alive when it comes to putting up with men (and going out of my way to not be too difficult to put up with myself). In reality, this post was more critical of women who allow themselves to overreact than actually being critical of men.

    This post in no way tells women to shield themselves, and believe me, we do notice and appreciate the “nice guys” of the world (I know more than a few of them myself). So keep doing what you’re doing. It’s not in vain. I appreciate your fairer assessment than most, and am glad you liked the writing even if the intent was lost somewhere in the process. (Looking back, I wouldn’t have chosen a health blog for this post, but it wasn’t my call as to which DirJournal blog it was posted to — in the future, I’ll suggest to the owner that we keep any satirical posts out of this section, as the subject matter clearly doesn’t suit the audience). Thanks for your thoughts. And now, I’m going to put the writer cap away and get back to my vacation and being my (perhaps surprisingly) mellow self.

  9. LoL… How about the fact that us men have to continue treating you like princesses the rest of your lives? WE have to make sure YOU don’t fall into the toilet when you have to go pee. WE have to open your jar of pickles when YOU feel like having a sandwich. YOU want equality in the work place, but WE have to lift the heavy boxes, right?

    Let’s make a deal. As soon as you can put your own toilet seat down, open your own jar of pickles, and lift heavy boxes at work, then I’ll back off with my comments. Deal?

    LoL ;), nicely written by the way.

    AC

    1. Putting the seat down is common courtesy, and I did not realize that opening a jar was such an arduous job. Honestly, if a man really loves a woman, he won’t mind doing little things like that for them anyway.

    2. Haha, jar of pickles? Seriously? Even my dad couldn’t open it while I did. And toilet seats are there for a reason. Even though I couldn’t care less (I refuse to sit on something that was peed on by others), what’s so hard about just flicking the seat down after you’re done (and vice versa)? And the lifting heavy boxes thing, gosh. Don’t complain after refusing help from females (when they’re capable) because of manly pride. I’m probably stereotyping by saying that, but so are you. But just wanted to point out that not all females are like that. And I know that all men aren’t like what this article describes them as; it was just meant to be funny. And I’m guessing that was also the point of your comment, lol. To the males out there who think that this makes them look like jerks, that is so not true. There are males out there like this, but if a female thinks that all males are jerks by reading this, then they’re just stupid or probably got their heart broken or something.

      Anyways, love this article. It made me laugh. I am actually on my period right now, and the only difference it seems to make for me is that I don’t give a damn what others think, so I say whatever is on my mind and don’t care if I sound bitchy. Maybe that’s the usual for guys, since it’s scientifically proven that women tend to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings. Lol, I guess that goes away when a girl is on her period. πŸ™‚

  10. Yes, I must just be a natural bitch. After all, I’m the one overracting b/c I’m too ignorant to read in context. Silly me.

    And yes, deal. I’ve always done the heavy lifting. I’ve studied engineering for years. I can fix a car better than most men I know. When something has to be fixed, I fix it. When something needs to be built, I build it. When I need a solution for something I create one. When something needs to be done, I do it. I don’t rely on men or anyone else to do it for me. But hey, score one for you anyway since you’ll likely twist my words to suit your own purpose rather than having anything valid to say anyway, right?

  11. You did understand that the article was a joke? As was my comment. You sound very bitter there darling. It’s good that you rely on yourself. But you need to forgive and forget what ever guy or guys have damaged you. If it’s society in general, I understand that too. But letting them get you to this point only allows them to win. Remain independent, rise above, but allow yourself to be at peace with yourself. πŸ˜‰

  12. AC – You’re right. I absolutely missed the last line of your previous comment, which would indeed imply it was a joke. So for that I apologize.

    But please don’t assume I’m in any way “damaged.” Far from it. The article had absolutely nothing to do with my own views. As mentioned before, it was an intentional extreme / stereotype. That’s it. Be careful about judging people when you not only have just a fraction of the picture, but when that fraction isn’t even based on reality.

  13. An observation is hardly a judgement. It just sounds more and more like you’re misunderstood or never taken seriously and it comes off in your responses. If you wrote this article and didn’t forsee the backlash, that would make you fooilish. And you hardly seem foolish. So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers… or… you’re severely disappointedin how stupid people, and specifically men, are.

    Damaged or not, you seem very defensive. And like I said before I understand why. But words like “seem” and “sound” denote an opinion or observation. And gr someone that is constantly pointing out how people aren’t reading carefully and understanding te point, you continue to do the same. Further proof of some kind of anger or frustration festering inside. <— Just my observations/opinions.

    AC

  14. “So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers.”

    Definitely no proof of anger or frustration — just proof that I did what I was hired to do… get people talking. πŸ˜‰ I knew up front plenty of folks wouldn’t “get it.” If anything frustrates me, it might be that, but then again it wasn’t at all unexpected.

  15. More and more I am losing respect for any and all womens, but PMS only makes me want to lose it much faster… and why don’t YOU shut the hell up…

  16. Anon – Might be time to put on the big boy pants and learn how to read before losing your temper. And if you honestly believe your comments have any value, stop being a coward and sign them with something other than complete anonymity. When you can do that, maybe you’ll be worth taking seriously.

  17. This is a troll thread, so stop feeding successful troll, it only makes it more successful. The entire point of this article is for you to cry into your scrotum so she can flex her labia and belittle you.

  18. J.M.

    I have tried many aproaches with my wife at these times. She comes to me wanting to “talk” about a problem. One I am not the emotional type so to her I dont “EVER” care about her. Then she becomes an agitator and begins to insult. She is hyper sensitive and combative. What is a guy to do. I don’t let myself get run over but also try to be the voice to calm her but she just becomes more outraged. All she will do is take any of the negative from my words and use it against me. Do I leave, do I communicate?

  19. Mike — I’m not a marriage counselor, so in no way will I say whether or not you should leave your wife. A quick one-sided comment really doesn’t tell anything enough about the situation to judge, and I doubt many, if any, readers here are qualified to do so anyway.

    That said, I’d suggest talking to her. You mention that you try when she’s already upset, but I mean talk to her when she’s not. If she’s already on an emotional roller coaster due to hormones or something else, it’s probably not the best time for a serious discussion. Wait until she’s beyond that. She might not even realize what she’s like. And don’t be accusatory. I don’t know your wife, so I don’t know what’s going on with her. But I do know some women are pretty extremely affected with their hormonal swings, and they literally can’t control it. If that’s the case, maybe it’s something she’ll want to talk to her doctor about — but she probably won’t even consider it if you approach her when she’s already on edge.

    Not sure that’s much help. But keep in mind… you don’t have to be an “emotional type” to make a woman feel like you care about her. You’d be surprised at how much the little things can matter. Ask her how her day was, and show some actual interest. Help her out with something she hates to do, without her even asking. Just give her a hug. None of those things take much effort, and you don’t have to do them constantly. But they can appeal to her emotionally even if it’s not a big emotional action on your part.

  20. Wow, someone writing an article must have PMS
    Seriously though, I have very rarely ever heard any man comment on any woman’s PMS. Perhaps it’s just a social taboo in my part of the world, perhaps they are scared to have something cut off, or perhaps you just live around a bunch of insensitive assholes.

    1. Oh wow, you are a bright one. Lets compare elephant labor to slavery shall we? Your comment makes real men look like wimps.

  21. Sounds like someone is PMSing

    at least we are only pissy for a small part of the day, with womens longer cycles you are pissy for a hell of alot longer, making you a joy to work and live with……

  22. Hi JM,

    Actually men (as well as women) excuse women for their unpleasant behaviour by citing PMS as a reason. It may or may not be true, but it gives those women some leeway to exhibit some frustration publicly, whilst at the same time, not impacting others around them too much.

    Now you are saying that men cannot use that excuse. Whilst I do agree that men/women cannot use that excuse for everything that a women says and does, but I doubt it is so common for only men to do it generally. It is possible that it may be so in your current group of friends or collegues, but certainly men (on the whole) do not use this PMS excuse all the time.

    You may come across some men (who apparantly have bad behaviour themselves) who tend to use the PMS axcuse to provoke women even during normal conversation. I believe you are quite upset about these men and your article is perhaps directed at them specifically.

    Unfortuately, you have failed to highlight that you are targetting at these specific group of men. It is very hard to get your message from the article. Instead it openly provokes the negative feeling towards men.

    Especially your words like “lucky little bastards” and “relieve you of your manhood” are all very disrespectful and offensive.

    I sincerely request you to consider writing more clearer and respectful articles which do not give readers a negative feeling and instead educate them so that they end your page with a positive feeling. Writing is afterall a skill which needs to be mastered over time. I hope you will become a better writer over time who will inspire your readers through your articles instead of provoking them like this article has done.

    I wish you all the best.

    Cheers!
    John

    Calling men “lucky little bastards” and threatening them by saying that you would “relieive you of your manhood” are not funny.

    If you wanted to write a humorous article, you have definetely failed in this attempt. Please try again.

    1. Please re-read the comments. If you failed to see the satire of the article, I’m sorry for that. As I noted before, this is the style of article that I was hired to write. I don’t believe putting it on a health blog as opposed to the more humorous blog here was the best fit, but that was not my choice. But getting worked up and taking it seriously isn’t something I’m going to waste my time addressing — again.

  23. Hey,

    I am amused to see this article. At the same time, I would say bravo, I too totally agree with you all. I share the same feeling.
    Men have DAS!

  24. It’s funny how the men are getting all mad because this article is on point (and funny-ha-ha). Men are given a pass to act like buttholes for weeks on end and people expect and accept that behavior as them simply being “agressive”, “manly”or “assertive” (both with positive connotations) while women are simply *itches and causing misery and war with their PMS.

  25. Yeh yeh and 9 months of pregnancy is an inconvenience too. Suck it up. Guys get pms too. We just don’t whine about it.

  26. If a woman can contain mean outburts caused by pms during the beginning of a relationship, then let it out once she’s comfortable with him, wouldn’t this prove she would be wrong to be mean to him when he was a stranger, and she is wrong to be mean to him just because she knows him better. At the beginning of that relationship the guy stereotypically would hit the punching bag at the gym with family issues or work issues. He would be more upfront and communicate his issues and problems as he got to know her better and she would reciprocate with her day. Some men can write, draw, paint there emotions as well. If a woman holds back at the start of a relationship then uses the guy as her punching bag, how is that justified just because he can’t walk out like on a first date?

  27. Nice piece of sarcastic/cynical humor, but this subject can be very serious for young couples who are deeply in love if the woman truly suffers from PMS. I can say this because my wife of 32 years suffers from PMS. For the first ten years there was a steady feud between us for two weeks every month ……….. then bliss for the remainder of the month. If we weren’t as close/compatible as we are would we have stuck together? I can’t really answer that can I? Because I have no way of knowing how a theoretical situation would have played.

    But who knows? My wife continually states that she has never met a man as understanding or patient as I am, meaning that she believes the answer is yes. But do you think she might be biased? Of course she is. We love each other very much, so there isn’t a chance we would not have stuck together. But the tension would dissolve most relationships. PMS is a serious condition which deserves much more research than it receives. On the second day of her period, my wife undergoes a very severe fainting and hot flash episode that will drop her to the floor in a pool of sweat if nobody is there to catch her, and help her to a seat. Every month! What does the doctors have to say about this? Take more vitamin B12! They obviously don’t take her seriously, do they? It’s not safe for her to take more than she already does. It seems to me that the medical community would get their act together and try to resolve the PMS issue.

  28. Wow, the amount of people who can’t take a joke is ridiculous.
    In any case, I loved this article, it was funny and well-writte

  29. Wow! I started my cycle today & have emotional (more sensitive) swings! I feel bad for my fiance & tell him that all the time. He admits he can be a selfish person at times, but says he couldn’t begin to understand what we as women go thru! For his understanding & truth on the matter, I become calmer & feel better about our differences. I feel that the fact that he can never relate to what I go thru frustrating & I find most fights are because I am trying to make him understand something he admits he never will! So when he acknowledges this, it helps me appreciate my situation!

    Now, this is my story & every man & woman are different obviously, but I loved reading this article & my fiance would get a kick out of it to! We are both open & understanding people, but we have are moments & days where we feel/act like this article states! I love the irony of this whole discussion! The men who commented on here sound to me like the ones whom you wrote about & I find it hilarious that your freedom of speech is causing them to PMS as well! If they are not like the men you are refering to, then why get so offended & belittle themselves by lashing out! The name calling and telling you to “shut the hell up” is obviously an anger problem! Some women try to handle their symptom in a rational manner & talk about what is going on, but it takes a man to listen and be open for her to do that! If not then it gets blamed on PMS-ing & being “bitchy”….. not the real problem: communication & understaning for a loved one, which is what some of these men obviously cannot comprehend! Oh & sports injuries & pain are from a recreational activity…. Women don’t score any goals/points to get our reacurring pain, but nice try!

    Anyway, thank you JM! I loved your article, it made my day a little brighter!

  30. I’m not sure how one is supposed to tell that this is a satire. There’s not really an indication as far as i can tell.

  31. In my opinion every couple needs to read The PMS (Please Make Sense) Guide for Men by Stefan Jaskiel. It made my wife and I understand each other and why we behave the way we do. It gave us both great advice for dealing with my wife’s PMS. It was an easy read and written by a real couple.

  32. hey JM! haha some of these comments are ridiculously funny. i have to say, there shouldve been a disclaimer–

    WARNING! ARTICLE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, IT IS MERELY SATIRE.

    i really liked the article! it was very funny and people need to calm down a bit. this is just a mockery of the douchebag guy who makes fun of a girl who has serious PMS. idk, it happens in my high school all the time!

  33. Well lets talk about Daily Asshole syndrom. At least you can count on it. If a man is a daily asshole then he was that same asshole the first week you met him. If a man is in a bad mood, the couple can work it out. Simply identy the problem, and solve it. We men get the short straw, you meet a wonderful women that you want around all the time. Then all of a someone, the other one comes out and you stop saving for the ring.

    Women however, get a get out of jail free card a couple of days a month, where they can behave completely irrational, and yet still think their behavior is socially acceptable. The problem is identified, PMS. And what is the solution? It seems to be to pretend that bitchy behavior is ok.

    Lets crunch the #’s:
    A couple met when she was 25 and conservatively assume her PMS is really only a problem for two days a month, (your welcome ladies). Menopause usually pops up in a women’s mid-late 40s. That makes between 480-600 days of bad pms.

    What does this mean?
    Fellas: It means you are sentenced to a year and a half of bitch. And that every month forward just lost one of it’s precious few weekends.

    Ladies: It means when you ask; “When are we gonna get married?” He is thinking about the time he just did.

    In short, a dependable asshole (DAS) is a lot easier to build a future on then a periodic, uncontrollable, irrational, short-tempered, weekend-ruining, women’s PMS.

    One of my favorites* Guys try this one.

    When she snaps at you for doing the same asshole crap she feel in love with you for.
    Play it cool. Wait a couple hours. Write a little love note that says “I love you so much sweetheart”.
    Then when she walks into the room, ask her to do something for you (as trivial task as possible).
    I like to use, feed the dog.
    When she gives you that snappy look, promptly accuse her of not loving you, and storm out of the room, and leave the note where she’ll find it.

    You deal with it.

  34. Men and women live in two completely different worlds, one that a member of the opposite sex can never and will never understand. Which is why we all think the other is stupid. the truth is men are social retards. We don’t think everything is that big of a deal and we don’t understand why everything seems to be with women. On the other hand, women seem to have trouble wrapping their heads around mechanical concepts (mechanical does not necessarily mean engines by the way) which is why most women have trouble parallel parking for example. They don’t see angles and physics the way we do. Which is why women generally do better in school. Textbooks explain cause and effect but don’t do a very good job of explaining why the effect was caused. Men need to know all the “Hows” to understand (whoever invented hands on learning is a genius), and there just aren’t enough hows to understand everything, like women for example. So I think we all need to shut the hell up. arguments and insults aren’t going to magically make a male produce enough estrogen to understand nor the other way around. So we need to play our roles as intended and keep the grey areas grey. Not everything is black and white.

  35. Shut the hell up? Now that’s how to get you ideas across! You think that because you don’t feel well you get to act any way you want? Every one has days the feel like crap and don’t take it out on every one else. Dry up man hater!

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