Life is full of funny moments. You don’t have to visit a comedy club to have a laugh. People do silly, ironic, and generally amusing things all around us every day. Who knows? Maybe even you gave someone a reason to smile recently without realizing it! In this photostream we’ll share funny everyday moments and sights that people thought were worth capturing on film (or in pixels). We hope you’ll share a laugh with us.
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Alright ladies. Pull up a chair. It’s girl talk time. We’re going to talk about men. We’re going to talk about sex. We’re going to talk about geeks — yes, geeks.
Let’s talk about the computer-obsessed, sci-fi loving, constant video game playing segment of the male population today, and why those geeks you normally wouldn’t give the time of day can actually make the best lovers. Yes. That semi-adorable geek next door might just surprise you if you take him for a roll in the hay. Here’s why:
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1. Unlike traditional male fantasies, no one expects you to live up to his.
You’ll never be some virtuous, other-worldly princess-warrior type who runs around half naked and kicks some serious ass. So what? Your geek gets that. He’s not going to push the issue. An “average” man on the other hand? Yeah, he probably really does hope that one day you’ll finally start calling him your “daddy,” in bed, let him spank you after he binds you in leather, and maybe even have a threesome with the cute chick he flirts with at the office. Go with a geek — unrealistic fantasies perhaps, but the expectations are easier to live up to. And hey, there’s still plenty of room for leather…. (more…)
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I’m a bit anal about my personal space. In public, I like to keep a nice distance between me and people I don’t know. The habit stems from my childhood. As your typical socially awkward nerd, I quickly learned that staying away from people was the best way to avoid embarrassment — not like it mattered. Sometimes it felt like everyone was pointing out how much of a loser I was. For a while I thought that billboard would never come down.
These days I’m more confident, but I still have a few of my old tendencies. You’ll see them if you ever come with me to a bookstore. Every so often some guy enters the aisle I’m in and decides that, out of all the books in the entire store, the one he wants to look at is right next to my feet. It doesn’t matter where I happen to be. I could be in the Kinky Backwards Sex aisle and this guy will think, “Hey, that dude looks desperate enough. Maybe he knows where to find that book about banging your coffee machine.”
He’ll decide to walk over and crouch right next to me. Now I don’t know what to do. I have to run through my options. Do I stay there and remain uncomfortable? It could build character after all. Isn’t that how it works? You build character by suffering? If that’s true, that guy who wrote Angela’s Ashes had enough character building to rewrite the Harry Potter series. There’s no way I can compete with that — I only have enough character for a pamphlet. (more…)
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I would be the worst lawyer / doctor / general / deity ever.
That’s the conclusion I reach whenever I play simulation games. You know — games where you pretend you’re in a certain role and manage the lives of others. In these games you can save lives as a doctor, micromanage a family, run a diner… you can even rule over entire planets if you want (although let’s face it — some people aren’t fit enough to run Planet Smoothie).
While you may be able to play these games, I can’t. That’s because I always choke. I get so involved with the characters that I don’t want to let them down. For me it transcends the fictional context. I have to protect these people. I have to win. If I don’t I’ve failed them, and I’ve also failed as a human being.
So naturally, when everything’s on the line my gaming skills are like, “You know, I have this sudden urge to gamble. Let’s go to Vegas. Right now.” (more…)
Indiana Jones by Cris de Lara
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Have you even driven down a familiar road rather nonchalantly and passed an unexpected sign that made you do a double-take? Every once in a while we stumble across (and okay, some people just create them in Photoshop) strange and funny signs that leave us laughing and itching for more. Too many signs out there are busy telling us what to do. “Stop.” “Yield.” “Beware of Dog.” (Come on — how many of those houses really have a vicious dog waiting to take you out if you set foot on the property anyway?) Why can’t more signs be funny signs? If you can’t get enough, this collection of funny signs will give you something to smile about (even as you’re running for your life from that seemingly-rabid Rover).
You know, I love the Internet. You can learn new information, play games and best of all, you can make a lot of new friends. With forums and social networks, you can forge a relationship with anyone across the globe without actually meeting face-to-face. This is essential for me. See, in public social situations, I tend to sweat bullets. When two gangs have a shootout, they make me talk to women so they never run out of ammo.
The big problem with the ability to communicate with anyone is that some people abuse it. For whatever reason, these people abandon their manners on the Internet and act like complete douche bags. Instead of being courteous, they go to blogs and videos and forums and try to rile people up with insulting comments. Much of the time this works — except on Cthulhu.com’s forum where it gets you promoted to being a moderator.
It’s not just guys either. Is it just me, or do a lot of these Internet jerks seem to be females? I’m not saying all girls are nice and frilly-dilly, but I’m always a bit surprised when I find a girl online acting like, well, a bitch. I daresay some girls online are bigger douche bags than guys can be. Maybe it’s just on the websites I usually visit. After all, with a name like UnderwaterBicycleSex.com, you’re sure to attract unwanted attention.
But why? Why would these people forget about common courtesy and resort to attacking others? My sources tell me that it’s all apparently for something called “the lulz.” When “the lulz” are had these people become truly happy, overjoyed and filled with laughter. Is it because “the lulz” are an object of power awarded to the meanest of Internet jerks? Or is it more of a philosophy, similar to zen and finding peace within douche-baggery? I’m not sure if I’ll ever find out — no one’s responded to my ad for help on Craigslist. I guess no one wants to be paid in back rubs.
Still, I don’t think I need “the lulz.” Yes I seek enlightenment like all great men, but a form of enlightenment that isn’t unlocked by making fun of someone based on their sexual preference. Yes it can be quite funny, but is it the right thing to do? As I travel through this mortal realm, I can only hope that the choices I make will be the right ones — the superior ones compared to the ones people like you make. No, I have no need for “the lulz.” I will defy destiny. I will find my own path.
Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns played a major part in introducing mature themes to mainstream comic books. Trust me, comics needed that. Up to this point comics mostly focused on silly ideas such as needle-spitting cacti and Green Arrow’s sidekick becoming addicted to heroin. With this graphic novel however, comics finally became bold enough to explore the really challenging issues (which reminds me — stay tuned this week for a very poignant story about Sinestro’s love of yellow leading him to water sports).
Now that comic books have become a respectable format for dramatic storytelling, it’s only natural that we do the same to picture books. After all a picture book is sort of like a comic book for young readers. By using them to communicate important issues, we’ll be able to teach our children about the violence, crime, and weird fetishes they need to know about. After all, how can you truly love someone if you don’t eat their poop?
I figure it won’t be long until we’ll see mature re-imaginings of our favorite picture books. To that end, I’ve gone ahead and rewritten bits from three classic picture books to give you an idea of what to expect. Feel free to read this with your children, and be prepared to use props to explain concepts they may not understand like “pimp” and “Myspace angle”. (more…)
Ah, the 90s! What a wonderful time to be alive. Why? That’s when I grew up, of course! This automatically makes the 90s the best decade ever. (Especially for the Grim Reaper-I mean, wow, Kurt Cobain! I’m so jealous!)
The best thing about the 90s was that it had cartoons for everyone. Boys had a great selection of action-packed shows, and girls had some entertaining fare as well. With that said, I’d like to take a gander at the best 90s cartoons for girls and boys. Before we start, I’d just like to thank myself for coming up with this list. Hopefully it’ll go better than my last one-”The Top 10 Supermodels I Am Stalking Right Now”.
The Best 90s Cartoons for Girls
I’ll be honest. I have a sister, but she’s not really “girly”. She hated Barbie as a kid, and she never liked girly cartoons either. That’s pretty damn inconsiderate of her, I gotta say. How can I make a list of the best 90s cartoons for girls if she didn’t actually watch any?
Fortunately, I am a king of the 90s, so I can fill this list on my own. There ARE some girly-fruity-la-la shows on here, but I also included some middle ground shows that girls are more likely to watch. Don’t worry about this list being girly enough-I’ve personally tested each show for the ideal levels of girliness. Just don’t ask me to give you my man card. In my case, it’ll be like 52 Man-Card Pickup.
5. Pepper Ann
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