Why Men Should Shut the Hell Up About PMS

That’s it. I’ve had it! If I hear one more man complain about women and PMS I think I’m going to SCREAM! I mean really. Who the hell do they think they are anyway? Disagree with them? Must be PMS. Point out that they made a mistake? Must be PMS. Don’t want to hit the sack for an afternoon quickie? Must be P-M-friggin-S! GRRRRR!

I’m convinced — the vast majority of men wouldn’t recognize a woman with PMS if she bit him on the ass. Heck, they don’t even realize their own little condition:

DAS — Daily Asshole Syndrome

 

Ooooh yeah. You know it’s true. Sure, some women go through monthly mood swings. Let’s call it our little monthly vacation from having to bottle up how we really feel all the time. And given that we put up with men and their DAS every single day, I say we deserve the friggin’ break!

Credit: BigStockPhoto.com

What is DAS? Think of it as PMS on a daily cycle. Men are up. Then they’re down. Then they’re horny. Then they’re hungry. Then they’re happy. Then they’re pissy. Then as soon as we ask them to do something for us they’re too tired and want to be left alone. They can go through the entire cycle in a single hour and start all over again.

Oh man, do they have some crazy mood swings or what? And there are relatively universal swings too. Here’s one of my favorites (which I’ve seen in one of my brothers, and at least two different exes):

The guy’s pissed off. The reason doesn’t matter, because there usually isn’t a very good one. The fact that the clock just struck 3:00pm would be as valid a reason as any. He’s a complete grouch. He takes it out on the nearest woman, either losing his temper and shouting, insulting her, bitching constantly about something, or just flat out ignoring her at the most inappropriate time.

He gets called out for his prissy little fit. He immediately realizes that the person calling him out (which can’t be the woman he’s being an ass towards) is right. A grin overcomes the smug look on his face. You know the one — the guilty little “yeah, I know I’m a jerk but you have to love me anyway so just forgive me and I promise it won’t ever happen again” grin. But of course, it happens again. And again. And again.

Yes folks, that’s one of my favorite little examples of DAS. I’m sure you can think of more.

PMS Isn’t a Problem, It’s a Privilege

 

Credit: BigStockPhoto.com

Not all women get bitchy when they have PMS. Some are just hypersensitive emotionally (*raises hand*). Others are simply miserable because they’re in pain — hey men, how often do you feel like internal organs are trying to escape your body? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Until you’ve felt what your woman is feeling, shut the hell up about her having PMS. She might be one of those unlucky ones with extreme cramps, and if they’re not hitting her yet she knows they’re coming. You’ve been warned. I take no responsibility if she decides to relieve you of your manhood for opening your mouth at the wrong time.

When women go through these emotional and / or physical changes, we don’t have the luxury of knowing we can change how we feel on a whim like you lucky little bastards can. So if we’re a bit out of sorts for a few days, deal with it! We’ve earned it solely for putting up with you all month!

And on that note, I think it’s time for a Midol and a nap.

Jennifer Mattern

Jennifer Mattern is a professional blogger, freelance writer, and former social media and PR consultant. She covers small business, online business, marketing, PR, social media, blogging, freelance writing, and indie publishing for a variety of online publications. She also handles copywriting and PR writing for small and online businesses. Find her on Twitter @jenn_mattern.

View Comments

  • AC - You're right. I absolutely missed the last line of your previous comment, which would indeed imply it was a joke. So for that I apologize.

    But please don't assume I'm in any way "damaged." Far from it. The article had absolutely nothing to do with my own views. As mentioned before, it was an intentional extreme / stereotype. That's it. Be careful about judging people when you not only have just a fraction of the picture, but when that fraction isn't even based on reality.

  • An observation is hardly a judgement. It just sounds more and more like you're misunderstood or never taken seriously and it comes off in your responses. If you wrote this article and didn't forsee the backlash, that would make you fooilish. And you hardly seem foolish. So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers... or... you're severely disappointedin how stupid people, and specifically men, are.

    Damaged or not, you seem very defensive. And like I said before I understand why. But words like "seem" and "sound" denote an opinion or observation. And gr someone that is constantly pointing out how people aren't reading carefully and understanding te point, you continue to do the same. Further proof of some kind of anger or frustration festering inside. <--- Just my observations/opinions.

    AC

  • "So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers."

    Definitely no proof of anger or frustration -- just proof that I did what I was hired to do... get people talking. ;) I knew up front plenty of folks wouldn't "get it." If anything frustrates me, it might be that, but then again it wasn't at all unexpected.

  • More and more I am losing respect for any and all womens, but PMS only makes me want to lose it much faster... and why don't YOU shut the hell up...

  • Anon - Might be time to put on the big boy pants and learn how to read before losing your temper. And if you honestly believe your comments have any value, stop being a coward and sign them with something other than complete anonymity. When you can do that, maybe you'll be worth taking seriously.

  • This is a troll thread, so stop feeding successful troll, it only makes it more successful. The entire point of this article is for you to cry into your scrotum so she can flex her labia and belittle you.