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That’s it. I’ve had it! If I hear one more man complain about women and PMS I think I’m going to SCREAM! I mean really. Who the hell do they think they are anyway? Disagree with them? Must be PMS. Point out that they made a mistake? Must be PMS. Don’t want to hit the sack for an afternoon quickie? Must be P-M-friggin-S! GRRRRR!
I’m convinced — the vast majority of men wouldn’t recognize a woman with PMS if she bit him on the ass. Heck, they don’t even realize their own little condition:
DAS — Daily Asshole Syndrome
Ooooh yeah. You know it’s true. Sure, some women go through monthly mood swings. Let’s call it our little monthly vacation from having to bottle up how we really feel all the time. And given that we put up with men and their DAS every single day, I say we deserve the friggin’ break!
What is DAS? Think of it as PMS on a daily cycle. Men are up. Then they’re down. Then they’re horny. Then they’re hungry. Then they’re happy. Then they’re pissy. Then as soon as we ask them to do something for us they’re too tired and want to be left alone. They can go through the entire cycle in a single hour and start all over again.
Oh man, do they have some crazy mood swings or what? And there are relatively universal swings too. Here’s one of my favorites (which I’ve seen in one of my brothers, and at least two different exes):
The guy’s pissed off. The reason doesn’t matter, because there usually isn’t a very good one. The fact that the clock just struck 3:00pm would be as valid a reason as any. He’s a complete grouch. He takes it out on the nearest woman, either losing his temper and shouting, insulting her, bitching constantly about something, or just flat out ignoring her at the most inappropriate time.
He gets called out for his prissy little fit. He immediately realizes that the person calling him out (which can’t be the woman he’s being an ass towards) is right. A grin overcomes the smug look on his face. You know the one — the guilty little “yeah, I know I’m a jerk but you have to love me anyway so just forgive me and I promise it won’t ever happen again” grin. But of course, it happens again. And again. And again.
Yes folks, that’s one of my favorite little examples of DAS. I’m sure you can think of more.
PMS Isn’t a Problem, It’s a Privilege
Not all women get bitchy when they have PMS. Some are just hypersensitive emotionally (*raises hand*). Others are simply miserable because they’re in pain — hey men, how often do you feel like internal organs are trying to escape your body? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Until you’ve felt what your woman is feeling, shut the hell up about her having PMS. She might be one of those unlucky ones with extreme cramps, and if they’re not hitting her yet she knows they’re coming. You’ve been warned. I take no responsibility if she decides to relieve you of your manhood for opening your mouth at the wrong time.
When women go through these emotional and / or physical changes, we don’t have the luxury of knowing we can change how we feel on a whim like you lucky little bastards can. So if we’re a bit out of sorts for a few days, deal with it! We’ve earned it solely for putting up with you all month!
And on that note, I think it’s time for a Midol and a nap.
View Comments
So why not just be a bitch all the time and call it even?
Intriguing concept, and one I personally find highly effective. ;)
Radical feminists like you can suck my big, fat, lopsided, veiny cock.
You don't happen to have a sense of humor with that lopsided cock of yours, do you? I find they complement each other quite nicely.
Nope, why don't you try it. I'd love to see how that turns out.
Actually PMS really does suck. Not all men are assholes and PMS can strain relationships with those men as well.
I found this when I was desperate and reading internet forums on PMS:
09-12-2005, 05:03 AM
Sunshine and Ladies,
Share this with the men in your lives: I (R) have been married to my wife (B) for over 25 years. B was always extremely emotional around the time of her menstrual cycle, and over the years, the anger component of those emotions grew and grew until about one year ago, I sadly resigned myself to the fact that I could no longer live with the love of my life.
For the first many years, I reacted to her anger with my own anger, which only made things worse. Once we realized that she had a medical problem, PMS , it mitigated things some for me, but I still continued to suffer from each episode which grew worse with each passing year, even though we sought help from every source possible, including medical, homeopathic, healing services, etc. Each seemed to help a little, yet the problem worsened. So now after 25 years, I was finally determined to run while I still retained some of my own sanity.
Even though I have always been attractive to women and have continued to receive invitations from many, I have always been so in love with my Bride , B, that it was easy to ignore those flirtations. Now here I was, facing the end of my marriage, receiving even more invitations and yet I could not imagine continuing life without B . I prayed even more earnestly for help.
During the next outbreak of her unimaginable anger, I was suddenly filled with peace as the answer suddenly became so very clear: My wife has an illness, possibly inherited, but nonetheless an illness for which she is not responsible; I love her more than life itself. Ignoring the blows and the threats, I put my arms around her and held her tightly, while softly speaking to her. I told her that I knew that she was not responsible for the illness that was causing her to be so mean and angry. I told her that I loved her so much, that there was not anything that she could ever say or do that would make me stop loving her or leave her. I told her that I was going to hold her until she felt better. I held her and gently kissed her face until she relaxed in my arms.
I continued to do this during each subsequent anger outbreak. Each episode continued to get shorter and shorter. Now, six months later, she rarely has an anger problem, and if one erupts, I respond the same and it immediately melts away.
Yes, the anger was diagnosed as a PMS related medical condition. Yes she received drugs, hormones, herbs and other kinds of therapy/help. But in the end, what worked the best was pure, unadulterated LOVE.
This is a true story. Please feel free to share it with your loved ones in the event that it could be of help to you. I have been given the gift of having my bride returned to me. Maybe the men in your lives could be as blessed as I.
Not all women suffer from PMS either. While this post want meant to be a humorous look at the issue from an extreme perspective, the example you gave also sounds pretty extreme but in a more serious (and saddening) way. Love definitely does help when emotions run high, so thanks for sharing the story.
Baww why are you on the internet, get back to the kitchen.
You do know that some of the best chefs are male right? Oops, I overestimated your intelligence. Baww for you :)
Cool post :D
@Asdf: Wise Man! :) "Giving love" works all the time ;)
must be her time oh the month...
Of course it is, because men like you can't come up with anything original.
The fact you admit to writing this WHILE going through PMS is just pure epic win. Let me point out why because I'm sure your brain is much to simple to understand anything outside of a stereotype.
You are, in a very ranting and raving, emotional, and, well, bitchy way, complaining, and berating, men, for pointing out, that while PMSing, women are emotional and bitchy.
Do they have PMS 25 days out of the month, or is it the other way around?? For the majority of these bitchy princesses they must have PMS 45 days out of the month!
...so you're trying to overcome a male bias by being an extremely biased feminist? when does a woman ever "earn the right" to be a bi*ch? and if a man is an as*hole every day, why the fu*k are you even with him?
Oh please, men have been bossing women around forever. You can dish it out but can't take it. Pathetic.