Anger is a natural emotion all of us experience in response to a perceived threat to or a violation of the self. We all have the right to be angry. In fact, not being able to express it can be harmful to the health and to our relationships. That sure does not mean we go around screaming at people we are angry at.

The way people react is conditioned by the social and psychological development. Anger is determined by the conscious and the unconscious mind, and this would influence the way people express their feelings, including anger.

When we bring our awareness into the expression of anger, it is said to have positive outcome and when we get our hurt feelings out, it helps our psychological health. Chronic anger not handled appropriately by expression can be very bad to health and even lead to diseases of the heart, gastrointestinal and skin.

Anger is expressed in several ways, by aggressiveness, assertiveness or by being passive. When we act aggressively and abuse the other person either verbally using words that hurt them or physically by using our fists, the relationship suffers; when we remain passive by denying this anger and we repress it by saying nothing about the issue, we suffer. The best way to express anger is by being assertive, which eventually helps resolve issues with discussion as well as enhances interpersonal relationships.

The first step to handling anger is to be aware of the danger signals that accompany anger, and then decide if a response is worthwhile and react accordingly. Impulsiveness never helps in any aspect of life. Giving ourselves time to think before taking an action, saves us a lot of trouble. (more…)

Working at home is the dream of many, but when children are added to the mix, the dream can quickly become a nightmare if proper provisions aren’t set. Children are demanding and young children especially have a difficult time allowing parents to work in their presence. Parents working at home with children must find time, space and dedication to effectively balance all areas of their life as well as maintain or grow their careers.

Set Business Hours
Your first step to working at home is to determine the time you’ll actually be working. By setting and maintaining routine business hours, you will maintain a professional feel and your clients and colleagues are better able to reach you. The beauty of working at home, however, is that your hours don’t always have to be publicized nor do they have to conform to traditional office hours – unless you’re expected on conference calls and other such commitments.

Set your hours around your current situation. If your children are in school or preschool at a certain time, those empty hours are obviously your best work choice. Even if you work only four hours in the morning to take advantage of preschool programs, you can find the remaining hours in the evenings or early morning when your children are sleeping or on the weekends when your spouse is home to help entertain the children.

Once your hours are set, establish a sort of routine to help you settle into your hours. A routine will help you find a work frame of mind more quickly and avoid unproductive time. For example, after you drop your children off at school, grab a cup of coffee and go over your emails. By the time your administrative tasks and coffee are done, you’ll be ready to jump into the day. (more…)

“The future belongs to those who believe in the quality of their dreams” said Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, the famous German Poet.

Many people imagine great things and say to themselves, “I will make my dreams come true.” Dreams are the same as wishes: they are things we fantasize about, yet do little to ensure they happen, although we do know that realizing them will make us feel ecstatic.

When we were kids, we allowed ourselves to dream. As we grew up, however, there were those people that told us that dreaming is a waste of time. They have no clue what they are talking about.

Allow yourself to dream! This marks the beginning of your journey to find what you really want in life. Every person has the ability to make their dreams a reality with proper motivation.

Know yourself. Understand your strengths and accept your weaknesses (all of us have them.) Build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. An honest analysis of yourself is the first and foremost step in preparing to embark on the journey of dream realization.

Visualize your dream and make it a reality in your imagination first. This makes you all the more determined and your dream more real. First make a commitment to achieve your dreams and take action to fulfill that commitment. (more…)

We all talk about stress but most of us are not clear about what it exactly is. Stress is the strain caused emotionally and physically, in response to pressure from the outside world. We experience reactions of irritation, tension, lack of concentration and fast heartbeat once in a while. This is caused due to some stressful situation and is quite common in our everyday lives.

Stress becomes a problem when it gets out of hand and we are not sure how to deal with a particular situation. Situations and events that cause stress vary from person to person. The things that cause stress to you may not worry your neighbor.

The reaction to stress can affect the physical and mental health, affect relationships and take people away from their social obligations. Stress can manifest itself in the form of dizzy spells, dry mouth, pounding heart, upset stomach, difficulty breathing, sweating palms, sleeplessness, nervousness, muscle cramps, anxiety attacks and frequent urination. This is when it needs to be considered a problem and addressed.

Do you want to end up being depressed, sitting in the corner of a room in a chair? Most people feeling depressed, wallow in self pity that life is not treating them well. Let me tell you, researchers have proved time and again that stress is manageable and can be dealt with effectively. (more…)

Rate yourself on the following items on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being the low and 5 high). This exercise aims at fact-finding and not fault-finding, and is intended to help you focus on areas for self-improvement.

1. I stay relaxed and composed under pressure

2. I can identify negative feelings without becoming distressed

3. I stay focused (not lost in unimportant details) in getting a job done

4. I freely admit to making mistakes

5. I am sensitive to other people’s emotions and moods

6. I can conceive feedback or criticism without becoming defensive

7. I calm myself quickly when I get angry or upset (more…)

Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to recognize your own feelings and those of other people, to be able to motivate yourself, to manage emotions in yourself and in your relationships. Chris Walkins

History of ‘Emotional Intelligence’

In 1985 a graduate student in the USA wrote a doctoral thesis which included the term ‘emotional intelligence’ in the title. This was the first-ever-academic use of the term emotional intelligence, popularly known as EQ … Emotional Quotient.

Then in 1990 the research work of two American university professors, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, was published in two academic journal articles. Mayer (University of New Hampshire) and Salovey (University of Yale), were trying to develop a way of scientifically measuring the difference between people’s ability in the area of emotions. They found out that some people were better than others at things like identifying their own feelings, identifying the feelings of others, and solving problems involving emotional issues.

Since their work in 1990 these professors have developed different tests to measure what they call “emotional intelligence.” Because nearly all of their writings have been done in the academic community, their names and their actual research findings are not widely known.

Instead, the person most commonly associated with the term emotional intelligence is a New York writer named Daniel Goleman who had been writing articles for the magazine ‘Popular Psychology’ and then later for the New York Times newspaper. Around 1994, he was evidently planning to write a book about “emotional literacy.” For that book he was visiting different schools to see what programs they had for developing emotional literacy. He was also doing a lot of reading about emotions in general. In his insatiable thirst for reading, he came upon the work of Professors Mayer and Salovey. At some point it seems that Goleman decided to change the title of his upcoming book to “Emotional Intelligence”, and this book instantly became an international best seller.

In this book, Goleman has collected a lot of interesting information on human brain, emotions, and behaviors.

Definition

Emotional intelligence is the capacity for effectively recognizing and managing our own emotions and those of others.

Research and experience demonstrate that while some aspects of our personalities are fixed, the way we act out those qualities is ours to choose. In other words:

• We do not choose our characteristics, but we do choose our characters

• We do not choose many of the events of our lives, but we do choose how we react to them.

Emotions have the potential to get in the way of our most important business and personal relationships. According to Professor John Cotter of the Harvard Business School, ‘because of the furious pace of change in business today, difficult to manage relationships sabotage more business than anything else — it is not a question of strategy that gets us into trouble, it is a questions of emotions’. (more…)

The key that opens your mind and heart to better job performance, an enriching career and life is your attitude. All of us want success; we want good results in all walks of life, in our homes, in work and in all our relations. The most important single factor that guarantees positive results is the Positive Mental Attitude !

A positive mental attitude helps you:

- Consider your neglected and misunderstood fact
- Summary: Job as a part of the larger pattern of your organisation
- Utilise your potential when dealing with other employees and customers
- Understand how your own attitude affects other people’s attitudes and performance

The noted American trainer and motivator, Zig Ziglar, remarks: Positive attitude is the result of new thinking …… believing in yourself, focussing on successes, learning from failures and surrounding yourself with people who share your values, principles and thinking. Positive attitude won’t let you do anything but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking. It will let you use your abilities and capabilities. (more…)