Politicians do some downright stupid things. Sure, we all do. But these are the people who draft our laws — the ones who decide how the rest of us should live and behave. Maybe you consider wars you disagree with to be “stupid” decisions. Perhaps it’s the latest report of infidelity from politicians that’s getting under your skin. But today let’s have some fun and look at the lighter side of government gaffs by exploring some incredibly stupid laws that may still be on the books.
Please note that I am not saying all of these dumb laws are still in effect (or even were). But they’re examples reported for various states in the U.S. and some international laws as well. Maybe they’ll make more sense to you than to me. Or perhaps you’ll also find them good for a laugh.
1. In Pennsylvania it’s illegal to have more than 16 women live in the same house — doing so makes it a brothel.
I wanted to kick things off with an example of a dumb law from my own home state. I’m not sure if the specifics reported are right, or if it’s still the case (as opposed to an old law). But I do remember the topic coming up periodically when I was in college. It was a concern for sororities where groups of “sisters” would share a sorority house.
[source]2. In Sweden it’s claimed that it’s illegal to paint a house without a painting license from the government.
Well, if that’s the case I’m glad I don’t live in Sweden. I just painted my place this spring, and am planning to do some more paint touch-ups soon. While this sounds like a pretty stupid law, I could maybe understand it if it’s outdated and became law out of concerns over lead-based paint or something.
[source]3. It’s reported that in San Antonio, Texas it’s illegal to use your eyes or hands while flirting.
Why not just ban flirting altogether? Outdated, still on the books — I don’t know. But this is one where I can’t even begin to understand the logic if it’s true… not even in a historical context. You?
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4. Don’t send the kiddies trick-or-treating on Halloween in Virginia.
It’s reported that doing so is illegal. Again, I’m not sure if this is legit or current. But the idea doesn’t really surprise me. I know where I live Halloween trick-or-treating is very different than it was when I was a kid. They’ve put strict limits on the time kids can go out, and I seem to remember them deciding trick-or-treating should be a different day at some point — maybe if Halloween was on a school night. So no, if this is true, it wouldn’t really surprise me. Just for curiosity’s sake, have you seen changes in trick-or-treating since you were a kid too? Or do I just live in a dud of a town?
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5. In Singapore, oral sex is illegal (unless it leads to the real deal).
Let’s be honest here. Sex laws can sometimes be the funniest. It’s usually a case of them being outdated, based in times when public opinion was quite different. And when it comes to international sex laws, I’m pretty “forgiving,” because I certainly don’t understand every culture out there. What sounds crazy to me might be perfectly normal there. But this one? I really hope it’s just a joke or at least off the books now. Oral sex is illegal, unless you use it as foreplay. Why do I suspect only a man could come up with that idea?
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6. While we’re talking about Singapore, tourists take note: it’s also illegal to pee in an elevator.
Because apparently we need a reminder….
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7. Way to go Fairbanks, Alaska! (They cleaned up filthy moose sex on city streets!)
This is one of those reported laws that’s so incredibly stupid I can’t help but hope it’s true (because that makes it all the funnier). As if animals give a moose’s behind what our laws say. If it works, maybe my local officials can write a law that would stop those damned birds from crapping on my car.
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8. In Canada, it’s reported that it’s illegal for clear and non-dark sodas to be caffeinated.
Ironically, just this morning I was talking to someone about caffeinated beverages (yes, my life is so relevant to my work!). I never actually knew that Mountain Dew had caffeine (haven’t had it in years either). It was pointed out to me that it’s indeed one of the most caffeinated sodas here in the U.S. So when I saw this stupid law I immediately thought of Mountain Dew. And I just had to look it up — is Canadian Mountain Dew different from “real” Mountain Dew? And it seems that it is (or at least was)! I don’t understand why the law was created in the first place, but I found it to be one of the most interesting. Yes. I find soft drinks fascinating. Shut up.
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9. In Washington State, it’s illegal to use x-ray machines to find the perfect shoe fit.
The hilarity of this dumb law is in its specificity. Sometimes when you read about stupid laws, they’re actually just taking general laws and twisting them to sound silly (like a ban on large animals such as big dogs on a beach being twisted to say you can’t take a polar bear to the beach). But this one isn’t one of those. The law specifically mentions shoe fittings, and you can see the actual text of the law in the source for this one. I could completely understand a law banning any non-medical use of x-ray equipment because of the radiation involved. But to specifically call out shoe fittings? What were they thinking? I just can’t imagine so many people in Washington State trying to do this that they felt it necessary to make it illegal.
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10. In New Jersey, it’s illegal for a murderer to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing that crime.
Well, I guess if you can’t get him on the other charges….
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Remember to take these dumb laws with a grain of salt. They’re meant for amusement more than anything. Do you know more about any of these reported stupid laws? Do you have a favorite silly law that’s still on the books where you live? Leave a comment and tell us about it!
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In fact the flouroscope did use x-rays
X-Ray Shoe Fitting Machine
Simplex fluoroscope machine made by
X-Ray Shoe Fitter, Inc., Milwaukee, Wisconsin
and most likely used in a Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin shoe store, c. 1945-1955.
At the same time, other research discovered that a high percentage of the nearly 10,000 fluoroscopes in use in the United States emitted dangerous levels of radiation for both customers and clerks. Various health and industrial hygiene organizations began recommending against using the devices. On November 24, 1950, Milwaukee became one of the first cities in the nation to regulate the operation and location of the machines, and in 1957 Pennsylvania became the first state to outlaw their use. By 1960, 34 states had banned the machines.
I live in Canada and I can tell you that Mountain Dew is definitely caffeinated. I don't know where you heard that law but it's completely false.
Yeah, the shoe fitting law was because in the good ol' days, before we figured out that X-rays weren't the healthiest things to be exposed to, shoe stores would have a machine that you could put your feet in and see how your shoes fit, using X-rays. Most of the time, when you have a weirdly specific law like that there's a historical basis. My favorite "I wonder why they had to write THAT one" law comes from the California Title 19 Public Safety regulations. The signage for an explosives stockpile has to be positioned in such a way that a bullet penetrating the sign won't hit the stockpile.
Actually, the law quoted here regarding caffeine in Canadian soft drinks was correct -- to a point -- until recently. Before this year, the only carbonated soft drinks allowed caffeine were colas and only colas (with a specific exception made for so-called "energy drinks"). However, as of March Canadian soft drink manufacturers are allowed to add caffeine (up to 140PPM) to any soft drink -- including regular Mountain Dew, which was non-caffeinated. Mountain Dew Fuel was classified as an energy drink to get around the law.
Thanks for all the info on the x-ray / shoe fitting issue folks. Always nice to learn something new. :)
As for those saying the Canada / caffeine law was incorrect, sorry but it actually was -- and that's precisely why the article noted that not all of these laws are necessarily on the books now, but that they were reported to have been at some point. Rallymodeller already gave some additional information, but it's backed up by other sources as well. Caffeine in drinks like Mountain Dew is a relatively new thing in Canada compared to here in the US.
Wikipedia has the non-caffeinated version as being current in Canada (as per the link below), but we've heard enough anecdotal evidence that it isn't true today (and as Rallymodeller noted, it's a fairly recent change). - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Dew
It looks like caffeinated versions WERE available starting a few years back, but as Rallymodeller already noted, they had to be marketed as energy drinks. Here's a blog post from 2005 detailing that and listing some of the energy drink warning label info that had to be included at the time - http://foo.ca/wp/2005/05/20/mountain-dew-becomes-drinkable/
"We also have 7-up, cream sodas, orange pops and more, all with caffeine"...i need to move to Canada, those are all typically decaffeinated drinks (like root beer)
Have lived in Singapore, the law regarding peeing in an elevator is quite necessary. In the projects, kids would often get on the elevator and relieve themselves. It's quite disgusting but also quite common.
I remember one story where they installed sensors in the elevators wherein once it was detected that urine was being expelled (don't ask me how), the elevator would immedietely stop and go into lockdown mode while it notified the police.
Weird but True.
Hello from Sweden..
A little note about that paint law. You need permission (better word than licence) to change the appearance of the house to make a major difference. If you live in a yellow house, and want to paint it green, you need permission. You'll get it most of the time. If you want to paint your house pink with blue dots, you won't. It's about neighbourhood aesthetics and stuff..
You do not need a licence to fix and touch up the paint of your house otherwise. That law is slightly mis-translated.
I think it is funny that you would choose the X-ray law from Washington state, when a more irreverent law is still on the books. In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon of more than six feet in length. Having grown up there, you have no idea the numbers of hours devoted to pondering that as a child. Who is tall enough to hide a pike under their trench coat? Was someone caught trying to smuggle spears onto the ferry? Why six feet, and not, say, four? I am pretty sure a broadsword is just under six feet, and even if not, this law doesn't protect against other swords. So, was it written to protect the powerful sword swinging lobby? My other thought was cannon, but who walks down the street with one? Endless internal debate, let me tell you.
What I found odd was the trick-or-treating law in Virginia. I am currently living in VA, and I was shocked when I found out that law (possibly) existed. I came here to see if other people claim it right, and I think it may be. The last time I went trick-or-treating was about 2 or 3 years ago, and i never remembered any kind of law about that. You know, most of these stupid laws I don't even think exist. Like, in Norfolk, VA someone said that after sundown, women must wear a corsette and be accompanied by a male. I guess I broke the law when I went there last. And on one of my iTouch apps (weird laws) it says that in one city in, I believe Pennsylvania, it is illegal for women to wear pants. I mean, maybe it was an amish city or something, I dunno. But, like you said Mr. Article Writer Dude, take these laws for a grain of salt, because I obviously didn't get arrested before, and I don't think I'm going to ever get arrested.