Why Men Should Shut the Hell Up About PMS
by J.M. on December 16th, 2009
Credit: BigStockPhoto.com
That’s it. I’ve had it! If I hear one more man complain about women and PMS I think I’m going to SCREAM! I mean really. Who the hell do they think they are anyway? Disagree with them? Must be PMS. Point out that they made a mistake? Must be PMS. Don’t want to hit the sack for an afternoon quickie? Must be P-M-friggin-S! GRRRRR!
I’m convinced — the vast majority of men wouldn’t recognize a woman with PMS if she bit him on the ass. Heck, they don’t even realize their own little condition:
DAS — Daily Asshole Syndrome
Ooooh yeah. You know it’s true. Sure, some women go through monthly mood swings. Let’s call it our little monthly vacation from having to bottle up how we really feel all the time. And given that we put up with men and their DAS every single day, I say we deserve the friggin’ break!
Credit: BigStockPhoto.com
What is DAS? Think of it as PMS on a daily cycle. Men are up. Then they’re down. Then they’re horny. Then they’re hungry. Then they’re happy. Then they’re pissy. Then as soon as we ask them to do something for us they’re too tired and want to be left alone. They can go through the entire cycle in a single hour and start all over again.
Oh man, do they have some crazy mood swings or what? And there are relatively universal swings too. Here’s one of my favorites (which I’ve seen in one of my brothers, and at least two different exes):
The guy’s pissed off. The reason doesn’t matter, because there usually isn’t a very good one. The fact that the clock just struck 3:00pm would be as valid a reason as any. He’s a complete grouch. He takes it out on the nearest woman, either losing his temper and shouting, insulting her, bitching constantly about something, or just flat out ignoring her at the most inappropriate time.
He gets called out for his prissy little fit. He immediately realizes that the person calling him out (which can’t be the woman he’s being an ass towards) is right. A grin overcomes the smug look on his face. You know the one — the guilty little “yeah, I know I’m a jerk but you have to love me anyway so just forgive me and I promise it won’t ever happen again” grin. But of course, it happens again. And again. And again.
Yes folks, that’s one of my favorite little examples of DAS. I’m sure you can think of more.
PMS Isn’t a Problem, It’s a Privilege
Credit: BigStockPhoto.com
Not all women get bitchy when they have PMS. Some are just hypersensitive emotionally (*raises hand*). Others are simply miserable because they’re in pain — hey men, how often do you feel like internal organs are trying to escape your body? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Until you’ve felt what your woman is feeling, shut the hell up about her having PMS. She might be one of those unlucky ones with extreme cramps, and if they’re not hitting her yet she knows they’re coming. You’ve been warned. I take no responsibility if she decides to relieve you of your manhood for opening your mouth at the wrong time.
When women go through these emotional and / or physical changes, we don’t have the luxury of knowing we can change how we feel on a whim like you lucky little bastards can. So if we’re a bit out of sorts for a few days, deal with it! We’ve earned it solely for putting up with you all month!
And on that note, I think it’s time for a Midol and a nap.
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Tags: anger, cramps, emotions, Featured, humor, men, pms, pre menstrual syndrome, Women
anon
December 16thSo why not just be a bitch all the time and call it even?
J.M.
December 16thIntriguing concept, and one I personally find highly effective.
anonymous
December 16thRadical feminists like you can suck my big, fat, lopsided, veiny cock.
J.M.
December 16thYou don’t happen to have a sense of humor with that lopsided cock of yours, do you? I find they complement each other quite nicely.
asdf
December 16thActually PMS really does suck. Not all men are assholes and PMS can strain relationships with those men as well.
I found this when I was desperate and reading internet forums on PMS:
09-12-2005, 05:03 AM
Sunshine and Ladies,
Share this with the men in your lives: I (R) have been married to my wife (B) for over 25 years. B was always extremely emotional around the time of her menstrual cycle, and over the years, the anger component of those emotions grew and grew until about one year ago, I sadly resigned myself to the fact that I could no longer live with the love of my life.
For the first many years, I reacted to her anger with my own anger, which only made things worse. Once we realized that she had a medical problem, PMS , it mitigated things some for me, but I still continued to suffer from each episode which grew worse with each passing year, even though we sought help from every source possible, including medical, homeopathic, healing services, etc. Each seemed to help a little, yet the problem worsened. So now after 25 years, I was finally determined to run while I still retained some of my own sanity.
Even though I have always been attractive to women and have continued to receive invitations from many, I have always been so in love with my Bride , B, that it was easy to ignore those flirtations. Now here I was, facing the end of my marriage, receiving even more invitations and yet I could not imagine continuing life without B . I prayed even more earnestly for help.
During the next outbreak of her unimaginable anger, I was suddenly filled with peace as the answer suddenly became so very clear: My wife has an illness, possibly inherited, but nonetheless an illness for which she is not responsible; I love her more than life itself. Ignoring the blows and the threats, I put my arms around her and held her tightly, while softly speaking to her. I told her that I knew that she was not responsible for the illness that was causing her to be so mean and angry. I told her that I loved her so much, that there was not anything that she could ever say or do that would make me stop loving her or leave her. I told her that I was going to hold her until she felt better. I held her and gently kissed her face until she relaxed in my arms.
I continued to do this during each subsequent anger outbreak. Each episode continued to get shorter and shorter. Now, six months later, she rarely has an anger problem, and if one erupts, I respond the same and it immediately melts away.
Yes, the anger was diagnosed as a PMS related medical condition. Yes she received drugs, hormones, herbs and other kinds of therapy/help. But in the end, what worked the best was pure, unadulterated LOVE.
This is a true story. Please feel free to share it with your loved ones in the event that it could be of help to you. I have been given the gift of having my bride returned to me. Maybe the men in your lives could be as blessed as I.
J.M.
December 16thNot all women suffer from PMS either. While this post want meant to be a humorous look at the issue from an extreme perspective, the example you gave also sounds pretty extreme but in a more serious (and saddening) way. Love definitely does help when emotions run high, so thanks for sharing the story.
Lolz
December 17thBaww why are you on the internet, get back to the kitchen.
Mehr
December 18thCool post
@Asdf: Wise Man!
“Giving love” works all the time 
DiamondAge
January 1stmust be her time oh the month…
Deek
January 1stThe fact you admit to writing this WHILE going through PMS is just pure epic win. Let me point out why because I’m sure your brain is much to simple to understand anything outside of a stereotype.
You are, in a very ranting and raving, emotional, and, well, bitchy way, complaining, and berating, men, for pointing out, that while PMSing, women are emotional and bitchy.
Been There
January 1stDo they have PMS 25 days out of the month, or is it the other way around?? For the majority of these bitchy princesses they must have PMS 45 days out of the month!
ticalisoul
January 1st…so you’re trying to overcome a male bias by being an extremely biased feminist? when does a woman ever “earn the right” to be a bi*ch? and if a man is an as*hole every day, why the fu*k are you even with him?
J.M.
January 2ndFolks, try this:
Read, then comprehend.
I did not say I wrote this while going through PMS. I’m also anything but a feminist. In fact, if you review the comments you’ll find that your opinion of me is based on false perceptions because you missed the satire. But here’s the comment again, just to clear up those misconceptions:
“this post want meant to be a humorous look at the issue from an extreme perspective”
Then again, knowing some readers wouldn’t get it, and would fly off the handle on their own emotional rants (hmmmm) is precisely why I wrote this. I love irony.
Casper
January 2ndSo if the women is in pain or knows she will be in pain then that gives her not so much a right, but a wider privilege to be moody and short tempered?
So following this logic I…a man…who will play a contact sport on the weekend will have the same wider privileges to be an asshole just because i know i will be in pain?
What about people who suffer chronic back pain? or people with debilitating injuries?
O and saying that in general men have cycles of emotions and wild mood swings just like or worse than women is actually pretty humorous. It is not a socially accepted norm that men have these cycles. TV sub-cultures do not endorse this view or men, however they do of women (sex and the city).
J.M.
January 2ndUm, when their physical pain is constant for days and accompanied by hormonal fluctuations that affect the emotional as well as physical state, sure, those athletes can be as much of an asshole as they’d like. Then again, who’s to say they’re not already (since you want to play devil’s advocate and all)?
No one said women have a “right” to be bitchy. In fact, this entire article was taking a lighter look at that situation, the fact that you can’t read beyond the literal aside.
And newsflash, anecdotal evidence is far from worthless (not that this article was in any way, shape, or form intended as some kind of medical diagnosis), and it’s rather laughable that you’d say TV sub-culture endorsements have any value at all when you’re claiming a lack of facts. But that’s ok. Unlike some folks here I do have a sense of humor, so I’ll take that as the joke it must have been.
JoeLhombreaud
January 2ndThis is what you get when a magazine/newspaper writer meets an asshole who breaks her heart. She see’s it as her responsibilty to share her views and opinion with the world which is fine, but the fact that you make all men appear to be jerks who treat women with no respect and bask in their egotistical glow drives me crazy. You are a talented writer and I enjoyed reading this piece, but the attitude you took infuriates me because everyday nice guys like me try to show women the most utmost respect, not because we have to but because we want to. And then you come along and encourage every girl to raise their barriers to shield themselves. Please don’t take such a general look at life, it makes em sick.
Joe
J.M.
January 2ndJoe,
I’m sorry you feel that way, but it sounds like you missed the point of the article. I’ll say this for the last time — this was not a serious piece, it was satire.
It does not reflect any real outlook. It’s an intentional exaggeration, demonstrating an extreme example of a PMS lash-out. Personally, I don’t get pissy when I have PMS, and I’m probably one of the most understanding women alive when it comes to putting up with men (and going out of my way to not be too difficult to put up with myself). In reality, this post was more critical of women who allow themselves to overreact than actually being critical of men.
This post in no way tells women to shield themselves, and believe me, we do notice and appreciate the “nice guys” of the world (I know more than a few of them myself). So keep doing what you’re doing. It’s not in vain. I appreciate your fairer assessment than most, and am glad you liked the writing even if the intent was lost somewhere in the process. (Looking back, I wouldn’t have chosen a health blog for this post, but it wasn’t my call as to which DirJournal blog it was posted to — in the future, I’ll suggest to the owner that we keep any satirical posts out of this section, as the subject matter clearly doesn’t suit the audience). Thanks for your thoughts. And now, I’m going to put the writer cap away and get back to my vacation and being my (perhaps surprisingly) mellow self.
Valter
January 2ndWhy don’t you just admit it. You’re just a natural bi*ch. Are you even sure, you are not in PMS all the time?
AC
January 2ndLoL… How about the fact that us men have to continue treating you like princesses the rest of your lives? WE have to make sure YOU don’t fall into the toilet when you have to go pee. WE have to open your jar of pickles when YOU feel like having a sandwich. YOU want equality in the work place, but WE have to lift the heavy boxes, right?
Let’s make a deal. As soon as you can put your own toilet seat down, open your own jar of pickles, and lift heavy boxes at work, then I’ll back off with my comments. Deal?
LoL
, nicely written by the way.
AC
The Dude
January 3rdShut up, get back in the kitchen and make me a samich.
J.M.
January 4thYes, I must just be a natural bitch. After all, I’m the one overracting b/c I’m too ignorant to read in context. Silly me.
And yes, deal. I’ve always done the heavy lifting. I’ve studied engineering for years. I can fix a car better than most men I know. When something has to be fixed, I fix it. When something needs to be built, I build it. When I need a solution for something I create one. When something needs to be done, I do it. I don’t rely on men or anyone else to do it for me. But hey, score one for you anyway since you’ll likely twist my words to suit your own purpose rather than having anything valid to say anyway, right?
AC
January 4thYou did understand that the article was a joke? As was my comment. You sound very bitter there darling. It’s good that you rely on yourself. But you need to forgive and forget what ever guy or guys have damaged you. If it’s society in general, I understand that too. But letting them get you to this point only allows them to win. Remain independent, rise above, but allow yourself to be at peace with yourself.
J.M.
January 4thAC – You’re right. I absolutely missed the last line of your previous comment, which would indeed imply it was a joke. So for that I apologize.
But please don’t assume I’m in any way “damaged.” Far from it. The article had absolutely nothing to do with my own views. As mentioned before, it was an intentional extreme / stereotype. That’s it. Be careful about judging people when you not only have just a fraction of the picture, but when that fraction isn’t even based on reality.
AC
January 4thAn observation is hardly a judgement. It just sounds more and more like you’re misunderstood or never taken seriously and it comes off in your responses. If you wrote this article and didn’t forsee the backlash, that would make you fooilish. And you hardly seem foolish. So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers… or… you’re severely disappointedin how stupid people, and specifically men, are.
Damaged or not, you seem very defensive. And like I said before I understand why. But words like “seem” and “sound” denote an opinion or observation. And gr someone that is constantly pointing out how people aren’t reading carefully and understanding te point, you continue to do the same. Further proof of some kind of anger or frustration festering inside. <— Just my observations/opinions.
AC
J.M.
January 5th“So it seems more and more like you either wrote this to intentionally ruffle some feathers.”
Definitely no proof of anger or frustration — just proof that I did what I was hired to do… get people talking.
I knew up front plenty of folks wouldn’t “get it.” If anything frustrates me, it might be that, but then again it wasn’t at all unexpected.
AC
January 5thI need a job like that. LoL
Anon
January 30thMore and more I am losing respect for any and all womens, but PMS only makes me want to lose it much faster… and why don’t YOU shut the hell up…
J.M.
January 30thAnon – Might be time to put on the big boy pants and learn how to read before losing your temper. And if you honestly believe your comments have any value, stop being a coward and sign them with something other than complete anonymity. When you can do that, maybe you’ll be worth taking seriously.
Anon
January 31stGo have cramps and die.
J.M.
February 1stLOL Now who sounds like they have PMS?
Deek
February 1stThis is a troll thread, so stop feeding successful troll, it only makes it more successful. The entire point of this article is for you to cry into your scrotum so she can flex her labia and belittle you.
J.M.
February 1stLOL – Deek, I have to give you credit for one of the more “colorful” and intelligent answers here.
Mike C.
March 21stJ.M.
I have tried many aproaches with my wife at these times. She comes to me wanting to “talk” about a problem. One I am not the emotional type so to her I dont “EVER” care about her. Then she becomes an agitator and begins to insult. She is hyper sensitive and combative. What is a guy to do. I don’t let myself get run over but also try to be the voice to calm her but she just becomes more outraged. All she will do is take any of the negative from my words and use it against me. Do I leave, do I communicate?